idea-expression dichotomy

The Freedom of Expression, the Constriction of Ideas

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I once said that?

Have been thinking recently about something, such that it's become almost a curious fascination - Somewhere along the way, someone would have said something, perhaps a one-liner that was so seemingly non-descript, yet it somehow stayed with you all your life. And somehow, you either live your life now changed by the philosophy espoused in that statement, or it's something that you remember so well. And you can always associate or link it back to the person who once uttered those wise sayings...or in most cases, simply blurted them out.

I'm not referring to heroic proclamations like "You can take away my life, but you can never take away my FREEEEDDDOOOOMMMMMM!!!" by a statuesque-like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. I'm thinking of the really day-to-day statements made by people around you, statements that brush past most people like busy commuters scurrying out of Raffles Place MRT station at 8.55am.

Like I remember to this day a simple remark Chong made years back when I was sick - "Vitamin C has to be taken in the morning, cos it can't be absorbed by the body at night". Yes, it's a non-event I know, yet somehow that always stuck with me my whole life, because I never knew such a medical principle before that! And so to this day, I consciously try to take my vitamins in the morning, perhaps as a sub-conscious acknowledgement of a significant statement once made to me.

They come in versions less refined as well, such as Yvonne's "zui piao liang de nu ren da pian ye shi chou de", which loosely translated, means that even the most gorgeous of women stink when they pass motion. Startlingly crude, especially when we were only 19 with raging hormones when we first heard it, yet refreshingly real. Of course it is something we don't speak about, in the exercise of proper graces, yet doesn't it just bring you back down to reality, especially when you're oohing and aahing and gushing about the drop-dead gorgeous babe who just waltzed past you? Yes, the statement was deliberately made with that intention, to knock some sense of reality back into the glazed-out eyes of smitten guys and knock out any remaining sense of wonderment at the beauty of the female species which men adore, but still brings such a smile whenever it slips back into your mind in a sinister and unsuspecting fashion.

There are sombre ones as well, such as the line Juliette always fell back on during our passionate discussions in the past, usually revolving around me trying to help her too much - "I have to carry my own cross". For years, I never fully understood such a statement. It didn't make sense to me. What was wrong with trying to help someone carry their cross? Even Jesus had Simon of Cyrene to help carry THE CROSS (which has since been the instrument of salvation for all mankind) when he was no longer physically able to after all the beating. Wouldn't it help for someone to share your burdens? I gradually learnt that all she was pleading for was for me to allow her to make her own mistakes, and grown and learn from them. And it made sense. Now, I sometimes find myself repeating the same phrase when counselling others.

And so, such innocuous statements which seem to fall by the wayside, consciously or unconsciously take root inside us, and grow with us to make us who we are. I'm sure everyone has a similar tale to tell. Wouldn't it be something if this became a phenomenon, kinda like Postsecrets, and everyone started sending in and sharing the statements from people that left an indelible mark in their lives?

And one day years later when even memories begin to fail, we can flash that toothlesss grin as we remind our friends of the statements they shared at a place in time, and throw our heads back in laughter at the incredulous look on their faces as they say again "I once said that?".